A Healthy Me

A Healthy Me

The wise listen to advice

Proverbs 12:15

We can all have relationship ‘baggage’ … mental, emotional, and relational scars from past relationships. And we bring any such relational wounds from the past into every new relationship we start unless we’ve completed a process of recovery and healing.

Remember, relationships are like soil; they need to be cultivated and kept free from weeds. And left unattended, old hurts, attitudes and patterns of dealing with certain issues will eventually reappear – just like a little ‘weed’ – and they will damage the new relationship.

So, if you are determined not to let your past mess up your future, you will get busy and root any ‘weeds’ of ‘past hurts’ out of your relationship soil, as part of your commitment to personal health.

The greatest gift I bring to any relationship is a healthy me, which means understanding what a ‘healthy me’ looks like and taking steps to become it.

Healthy people:

  • Are easy to talk to. They don’t bully or intimidate people; they don’t get defensive, lash out in anger, or clam up creating uncomfortable silences.
  • Are secure. They don’t need constant assurance; they don’t manipulate people emotionally, sexually or financially to get the assurance they crave.
  • Respect themselves. They value their God-given abilities, body, personality and make up. They have learned to love the way God has made them.
  • Respect others. They don’t demand you become like them but appreciate your uniqueness and celebrate it.
  • Get help when they need it. They are not too proud to admit they don’t know what to do in a situation or ask for help. They are teachable and wisdom is eagerly sought from those with more experience about their situation.

 Remember, this is a commitment to work on you, not the other person. So, let your attitude be: ‘Because I love you, I will be the best I can for you and get the help I need when I need it’.

Be one of the ‘wise’ who ask for advice (Prov 12:15).




Stephen Matthew is a gifted Bible teacher, author and committed church-builder with over 40 years of experience in Christian ministry.