Two are better than one

Ecclesiastes 4:9

Relationships are like soil; they need to be cultivated and kept free from weeds …

At the heart of every healthy relationship is togetherness, teamwork, and shared life. In a word, it’s a partnership.

But over time, people and relationships change. Initial intentions can get lost in the busyness of the developing relationship and it becomes all too easy to simply forget that the relationship is actually a partnership and to start making independent decisions.

When that happens, it is like a small ‘weed’ taking root in the fertile soil of the relationship. Once that ‘weed’ of independence starts to grow, there will be trouble ahead because independence is an attitude that fundamentally works against the relationship. It takes unilateral decisions without considering their impact on the relationship and thus, slowly chokes it.

So, if you spot the ‘weed’ of independence in yourself, root it out. And if you see it in your partner, have the courage to sensitively talk about it while it is small.

Of course, not letting independence take root in the first place is always best. And that is only achieved having a personal commitment to the reason you entered the relationship in the first place and being willing to put that before your personal desires.

In a healthy partnership, it is not ‘all about me’ and it is not ‘all about you’. It’s not my money it is our money. These are not my children they are our children. It is our house, our car, our holiday, our church … you get the point.

So, if the ‘weed’ of independence begins to spring up, pull it out fast. But more importantly, keep it at bay by ‘feeding’ your relationships with a regular dose of affirming your commitment to partnership.

As the Bible says: ‘Two are better than one’ (Ecclesiastes 4:9).




Stephen Matthew is a gifted Bible teacher, author and committed church-builder with over 40 years of experience in Christian ministry.